The Skinny Bitches

About two weeks ago, I visited a bookstore to buy a farewell present for a colleague. As it happens with me and bookstores, I had to spend a couple hours going through various shelves, picking up books at random, and reading at least some pages of at least some books.

This one, in particular caught my attention. of course, the cover and the language talked to me.

And then it got a lot more colorful. These ladies went on to talk about why meat is gross, milk is for babies, and also uninhibitedly discussed... err... excretion being a good metric of whether or not you are eating right. OK.

They tore apart the joys of sugar, soda, tea, coffee, in short, anything that any major publication says is bad for you. Still OK.

And then comes the part that stole my appetite. Completely. A diet regiment that advocates only fruits in the morning, and a moderately heavy dinner, with lots of tofu and "healthy, non-crappy food that's SO good for you, that it tastes great without making you fat". That was also tolerable.

But what was not was the countless allusion of the "fat reader". The way I saw it, it was almost like glorifying a lifestyle that pays you millions of dollars to NOT eat. I understand these women have a respectable profession of working for a modelling agency and of course, modelling. What I don't understand is why they had to justify that by ordering - yes, literally ordering thousands of women around the world to be the same way.

We understand, that you poor women cannot eat cheese and yogurt. Pity. We understand eating tofu increases your paycheque by 5 figures. What a fantastic life you must lead, one of depravity. And if this is not enough, Kim Barnouin has a Skinny Bitch guide for pregnant women. Fantastic!

Having been on an almost 5-year quest to shed pounds, I have done a lot of exploring around for diet and exercise options that would make me lose excess weight without my colleagues having to rush me to a hospital for IV feeding. The operative word here being excess. I do not wish to be a skinny bitch, because my income doesn't depend on my dress size. But none of those books and blogs made me feel .. well, like a bitch for enjoying my occasional milkshake. None of those made me feel like having a warm grandmom-made meal (the taste of which has a lot to do with the oils and spices that go into it) was "crap" going into my body (for the record, my Grandma is 79, fit, can climb 6 floors of stairs without losing her breath, and walk at least 3 kms at a stretch).

Yes, these are two good-looking women. Ignorant good looking women who want so badly to believe that what is necessary for them is good for other women. Whose self-confidence and self esteem seems to be embedded only in a weighing scale. Sigh.

Apparently beauty is not just skin-deep anymore. Beauty lies in the body than in your brains, heart, or even your face. Absolutely!

And that attitude is what makes you the (skinny - who cares?) Bitches.

The Simple Life

Okay. So I am in the "addicted to Farmville" club. Level 37, I have no further milestones to achieve, yet my harvests are synced with my watch in almost scientific precision.

It all started when I saw my news feed - "Aparna has left the city living to become a farmer". Yippiee!! I was so happy. I lost myself in my crops, my trees, and overnight, I didn't just become a farmer, but also an animal lover, a tree hugger, a Sultan of Soil, a Barnyard Behemoth, oh, and an extremely gifted landscape artiste.

But think about it fairly. Whats so bad about an RPG that makes you utilize amazing abilities that you don't even have in real? If non-existent talents can help you attain a signboard on your property that says "Preminum Grapes grown here" , what's so bad? How many times in real life can you expand your land by 80 square feet at a rate of almost once a month? How many people in real life, with just an internet connection and nothing else, own villas, greenhouses, cottages, lodges, and estates on one large piece of land? Heck, how many of us have even dreamt of a piece of land large enough to house all of the above together?

Come to think of it, I would encourage young kids to watch their crops grow, gift flower bouquets to friends, pet their pigs and their baby turkeys, rather than letting them get a whiff of RPG's like "Rapelay" (yes, it unfortunately exists).

Maybe the popularity of Farmville was not its game method, but what it brings out of ourselves - simple, yet lavish living and hordes of neighbors bearing you gifts on a 12-hour basis. Maybe for most of us, it's an escape into an alternate reality we know we can never have, bot secretly crave.

I'd better go harvest those blueberries.....

The Candlelight Club

Last evening, I cried. Today morning, I cried again. I hear these words, and my lachrymal glands start to work overtime.

Woman: "These candles, what does it mean?"
Man: "You'll find out. Lets dance now"

These lines are from the movie "Waterloo Bridge (1940). They don't make movies like that anymore. Romance doesn't happen like that anymore. You don't see love like that anymore. You hardly even see restaurants like that anymore. Couples don't dance like that anymore.

We have a very dashing, charming, handsome Robert Taylor and a beautiful Vivian Leigh holding each other with only the slightest of touches and dancing. This happens at a place named "the Candlelight Club". Three men playing the violin to the tune of "Auld Lang Syne" , with candles lit in front of them, complete the picture. At one point, the men intently play, and take one look at the crowd, and swiftly albeit delicately put out the candles. Screen fades to black, while the two continue to dance. The only guiding light they have is each others eyes.

In the darkness, you then hear the strains of the song........

My mind fades to the rude shock of 2009. I sit in a "coffee bar" that tries to include the concept of outdoor seating irrespective of the location. I hear the blaring noises of the traffic going by. I look around, see a young couple loudly singing along to something on the lines of 'My life would suck without you". All the while desperately trying to count the change in each others pockets using their toes. or hands. Or both.

I'm almost gasping at the change 6 decades have brought about. Three generations. Innocence lost. Loving glances turning to lustful stares. Waltzing in each others arms turning to frantic one night stands. Stolen Smiles turning to bawdy pick-up lines. When did all this happen? Where did the purity of true love get lost? I try to process all this information, and I'm left wondering.

Was the 40's a time of total sexual deprivation and suppression that primal thoughts had to come bursting out in the open someday, or is the 21st century a time of total deprivation of innocence and romantic cleanliness? Are we not allowed to be sweet anymore? Are we so busy trying to fit into the kinky schoolgirl's uniform that the snug headmistress' wrap chokes us? Are we so busy trying to pretend we dont have earnest feelings, to a point where we cannot get them to the surface anymore?

Close your eyes, mentally light a candle and touch the hand of someone you love. Put out the candle, open your eyes and tell me what you see.

I see a teardrop.

I do...

The story of US...

This one goes out to the five of us.

28th January, 2009:
Bangalore, India: One is slogging away at work, and checking mails.
Kolkata, India: One just got married! and is busy settling things, and she checks mail whenever possible.
New Delhi, India: One has quit her work to relocate and keeps checking mail every 20 seconds. When she gets new mail, she gets into action immediately.
London, United Kingdom: One is on a project, and is mailing us to fill in whatever details we might have missed out on her life.
Somewhere over the India Ocean (on a flight back from he Maldives): One is just getting back from her honeymoon and in her head is composing the text message that she will send out to her girls.

Less than 2 years back:
-We were all unmarried
-We were all students
-We were all in one place, under one roof, and had the same kind of lifestyles.
-We would share table, plates, cutlery, food, books, and showers.

Now:
-We have jobs
-We have husbands
-We have lives in different places
-We have routines, schedules, responsibilities.

But....
-We still talk junk.
-We are still "tuned in"
-We dont need to see each other to "connect" we just do.
-We dont even need to hear each others voices to "connect". We just do.
-We always have someone we can discuss Cosmo's "special sections" with.
-We always have someone who will give us HONEST reviews on our clothes, shoes, hair and weight.

Thank God for my girlfriends!! No one makes them like that anymore :)
Do we.... each other.. take each other.... to love and respect, for richer or for poorer, for single and for married, in bloated and in 26-inch waist thin....

I DO!!!!

The Perfect New Year

Three days to go, for a brand new year.
A brand new date.
A brand new day.
A new sunrise.
A new path I want to take.

But it is today
that's completely new

Just being here, with you.

The Bag Lady

Its 20 inches in length, 8 inches deep and 4 inches wide, tan goatskin leather, and I'm never without it.

Th other day, my handbag and I had to endure snide remarks from a colleague, about how I can stash a tiny person in the bag, when it is not filled with all sorts of unnecessary junk.

Lets just say contrary to an expected chagrin, I experienced a mild sense of satisfaction at the thought of being able to survive in a desert or similar inhospitable conditions for at least 3 days to a week (presuming we are discounting the luxury of showers and pampering.... I would be lost, after all).

Just to make sure I can substantiate this claim, I decided to conduct a quick run through, and here's what I found: A large bottle of water, a small bottle of black currant soda, hand sanitizer (yeah, I'll be germ-free if i have to dig underground for more water), medicines for mild fever, body aches and cramps, lip balm, moisturizer with SPF 15 (ultra light: halleujah!!), a phone charger (now only if they had electricity in my desert), an MP3 player, breath mints, an apple, a mini-pack of jam, low calorie sweetener, a wallet with cash and cards, loose change, keys (maybe they will also act as digging tools), and to soothe an anxious girl's nerves... some junk jewelery, hair accessories and basic cosmetics (now ALL i need is that handsome rescuer-man).

Somehow, what men see as "junk", I see as "preparation", and whats "unnecessary" for them becomes "fun" for me.... I love to be the one pulling out candy for kids at a traffic signal... I love to be the one handing out soda to a moody colleague, and I love to be the one handing out herbal eye liner and raspberry gloss to a panicked girlfriend....

I don't mind the extra weight.... and I don't mind the extra space.... but what do i do when all the stuff in there ever gets utilized? So if I'm a bag lady no more, I can always fold up the leather, tuck it under my arm, and use the "other" survival guide for women (a Sex and the City quote).... "Its not a bag, it's a "baguette"!!!

Making a Difference

Sometimes, making a difference can start with a small thoguht.

http://pratiksweblog.blogspot.com/2008/12/terrorist-strikes-in-india-and-larger.html

When you think differently, you condition yourself to act that way.

Here's to you and everyone like you.....